Keep Your Eyes Open
by capriciousCacophony
Summary: AU-Post-Game. Humans and Trolls coexist on a small planet. GamKar centric, but features all the trolls. M for the eventual oo-la-lahs, Karkat's mouth, and Sober!Gamzee-who is basically-in all respects-his own warning. Full summary inside; 225 ain't enough
1. Chapter 1

**Full Summary**: Gamzee/Karkat centric piece, but other pairings will be added as we roll along. Trolls and Humans coexist on a small planet ('Gaia'). Details about the history of the species' coexistence will be thrown in bit by bit; I couldn't be arsed to bang out a prologue to explain it all.

All the Trolls and Kids are 18-19 at this point, and have, for the most part, settled into their lives in this new world. Full list of genres/themes this fic will touch on; mainly situational humour, drama, quadrant flipping, xenobiology, a dash of angst, romance, friendship, internal conflict on more than one count…and more I cant think of at the moment. We're going to take the road to the eventual GamKar quadrant flip nice and slow, so there won't be any bedroom antics for quite awhile. Chapters will have warnings where they apply, so no like/no read.

**A/N**:**_ For Shannon; clickmaverick on tumblr._**

**Okay guys….this is my first published fic ever, so I encourage CC/R&R, but go easy on me, yeah? XDD _Man, I am so nervous right now_.**

**Updates will be hopefully as often as once a week, but while I'm not tying myself down to an actual schedule, I'm determined to not let myself fall behind on this. My writing style leaves a lot to be desired on some points-I use a lot of line breaks, so this fic is likely to be best viewed in ¾ or ½. The first three chapters are relatively short, but beyond that I'll try to pick up a bit more length for each one.**

**I will, in the near future, be adding a tag on my Homestuck Fanart blog for this fic, which will be home to character concepts, doodles of their houses, some of the situations…stuff like that. So if that kind of thing is something you'd enjoy, feel free to follow me there on tumblr; **stuckdraws** (link is on my profile here as well)-StuckDraws is NSFW.**

******Obvious disclaimer; I do not own Homestuck or the Characters, Hussie does.**

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Eye-pods and Egberts**

Walking down the same street every day for the past few sweeps, one came to expect certain things. The same smells from the bakery wafting onto the sidewalk, teasing the senses and tempting you inside. The same rhythmic beat of your feet, and below that, the hum of the underground transport system making its first trip of the day.

Even some of the faces passed were the same as you walked by-not that you ever bothered to look up from the ground as you made your way home.

Karkat sighed as he made his way back from work, retracing the exact steps he had taken earlier that morning at 1am. Hands stuffed into his jacket, the left one gripping his … what had John called it again? An 'eye-pod'? Stupid fucking name for the music device if you asked Karkat; the tiny thing had no eye of any description on it. He snorted, remembering the conversation upon being presented the music player.

_"What the nookchafing fuck is this thing?"_

_"It's an iPod, Karkat! You can put music and stuff on it!"_

_"Fucking wonderful, Egbert. Just what I needed. Another data storage unit."_ Karkat had wildly gestured to the pile of external hard drives that Sollux had given him.

_"No, no, nooo. You put these headphones in here, see? And press this button to play something!"_ John had all but rammed the small squishy things into Karkat's ears, earning the human a lovely string of curses.

_"GOGDAMNIT EGBERT YOU DENSE FUCK. YOU DON'T JUST STUFF THINGS INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S AUDITORY SPONGES LIKE THAT."_

_"Sorry! But its pretty cool! I even got red to match your eyes!" _John had apologized, but with that ever-present gleeful grin on his face. Sometimes Karkat just wanted to slap that smile right of his peachy fa-

_"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" _Karkat had all but screamed the words. _"TO MATCH MY FUCKING- HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING THAT FUCKING FAST, YOU MORON?"_

John obviously realized his mistake, if the look on his face had anything to reveal.

_ "Oh… Oh Karkat, I'm so sorry! Here let me take it back and get you another co-"_

_ "NO. NO, ITS FINE I'LL FUCKING DEAL WITH IT MYSELF."_

Karkat face palmed as he walked, running the situation over in his mind. He gripped the 'eye-pod' tighter, recalling how he had marched himself to Sollux's room and without a word to his dual-horned friend, snatched a roll of silver duct tape and plastered strips of it all over the music player, until not a trace of the offending red color underneath could be seen. Imperial-driven culling may not still be in effect, but the Hemospectrum was still a very prominent part of the trolls' existence, and many trolls still felt the need to retain order amongst the spectrum-it may not be culling by Imperial order, but fuck. Culling was culling. There were even organized Blueblood and Highblood gangs creeping in the shadows. Karkat be damned, he would never let anyone besides his friends know about his mutant blood. Kanaya had even found him a pair of dark grey contacts to wear. Upon his stubborn, loud, and rather violent insistence of course.

He pushed the whole subject out of his mind and plodded along, meeting eye of neither troll nor human as he walked, glancing up only to read the street signs he passed.

Second, Third…

Deaf to the sounds of the waking city, music running into the gray earbuds, Karkat hooked a sharp right turn at the curb, now facing the crosswalk. He narrowed his eyes at the offending red "Do Not Walk" light, blinking at him for what seemed like the millionth time. How did he always manage to get to the corner of Fourth Street at the _exact_ moment traffic resumed its flow? Fuck.

Karkat freed a hand from his jacket and impatiently hammered the crosswalk button with a single finger. He tapped his foot, scowling at the traffic lights. Come the fuck on, turn red already…

_ 'Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail-upgrade it'_

If it weren't for the fact that his cell phone vibrated while blaring out Sollux's ringtone, he probably would have missed the call. Karkat tugged one of his earbuds out, fumbling around in his pockets to locate his phone, which was still playing the ringtone at a ridiculously loud volume.

_ 'Lock it, fill it, call it, find it, view it, code it, jam-unlock it'_

Karkat nearly flailed as he ripped the phone out of his pocket and flipped it open, shouting 'WHAT' into the innocent device. A few people turned to give him odd looks, but he barely noticed.

"No need to thout, KK," Sollux said, "Chritht, I think I heard you all the way from here."

Karkat glowered at nothing in particular and busied himself with prodding the crosswalk button again. "Har dee har har, Captor. What the fuck did you call me for, I'm almost home."

He could hear Sollux clacking away at his keyboard as the other troll responded, "I thought it only fair that I let you know your 'don't ever go in my gogdamned room unleth you want me to thkin you alive' rule hath been breached."

Karkat's eyes shot wide open, then narrowed violently as he growled into the phone, "Who."

"John." Karkat nearly threw his phone into the moving traffic before him. How fucking thickheaded could that human possibly be? Karkat didn't know. All he knew was that ever since Egbert had moved in with them, he was revealing himself to be a damn sight stupider than the nubby-horned troll had given him credit for in the past.

"He thtarted cleaning the hallwayth with Fef, and the thuggested they work on the roomth ath well," Karkat grated his needle-sharp teeth together as he listened to Sollux, "They took theperate halls, I think. But John ith definitely in your room right now with that loud dutht-collecting thuction devithe."

The lights changed, the 'Do Not Walk" replaced by white lettering; 'Walk.'

Karkat didn't walk so much as tear across the crosswalk, nearly barreling over some human children on the way.

"GOGDAMNIT, I TOLD THAT NOOKSNIFFING GOODY-GOODY THAT MY ROOM WAS OFF LIMITS. GET HIM THE FUCK OUT OF THERE SOLLUX." He was very definitely turning heads now, flying down the street with earbuds whipping behind him, hollering into his phone like Sollux was hard of hearing instead of being partially blind.

"KK-"

Karkat narrowly avoided getting run down by a troll in an SUV at the next set of lights, careening to the side and running around the back of the vehicle towards Sixth Street Northeast. "NO YOU KNOW WHAT NEVERMIND. I'M THREE BLOCKS AWAY, I'LL HANDLE IT MY GOGDAMNED SELF."

* * *

Sollux raised his eyebrows as Karkat hung up. He sighed, a small smirk worming its way across his face as he alerted the troll he was speaking to on Pesterchum that he would return shortly. He pushed his chair away from the desk, removing his earpiece. The smile on his face was full-blown as he stretched, cracking his back and standing to make his way to the door. He opened it, poking his head out and addressing the open door across the hallway.

"Hey John…"

This was going to be good.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2 - Egbert, the nooksniffing expletive expletive.**

Kanaya was sitting in the living room of the hive-or 'house' as John consistently called it- that she shared with the human and three other trolls. On the short table in front of her was a stack of folders, all pertaining to her place of business for the past sweep or so. She was currently addressing the figures and taxes for the upcoming inventory-it never hurt to be prepared!

Kanaya was proud of her entrepreneurial endeavor; A unisex fashion store for both trolls and humans. While trolls did not particularly indulge in the world of fashion, humans seemed to be borderline obsessed with the concept. They had 'seasonal colors', trends, and even shows and events that revolved around fashion. Kanaya found it fascinating to say the least, and when she had opened her business, she had not expected the troll population to take much interest, but still they came. She smiled as she punched some more numbers into the calculator Rose had given her. A rather primitive mathematical device, but a helpful one to be sure.

She sat in the quiet room, listening to the sound of Feferi humming as she cleaned the kitchen counter. The main floor's living room-a strange name, as Kanaya failed to see any living objects in it besides herself-was set on an open-floor-plan adjoining the nutrition….area. Blocks were a thing of the past, as were most hives. These human 'houses' were similar in concept, but instead of having each area of the space divided into individual blocks, they seamlessly integrated each area into each other, using hallways and a series of doors to section off each space. Kanaya smiled again, still fussing with the calculator in her hands and taking notes. She preferred to live in one of these 'houses'. Her store had come with an apartment above it-a rather small version of the place in which she now sat. However she had deemed it too small for her taste, and opted instead to rent the apartment to Rose and Jade, who gladly accepted the offer, as they both worked for the store itself and it made life just a tad bit easier to live above one's place of income.

Kanaya put down the calculator and picked up a folder, leafing through it. She could hear John upstairs, using that rather loud dust-eating contraption-a 'vaccum', he called it. Another primitive, yet helpful device from what she had gathered.

"Kan, it may be in your betht interetht to move your work to your room."

Kanaya looked up at Sollux, who had entered the nutrition area that had no wall between it and the room she was in, only a waist-high long 'bar' type table and stools separating the two. He went to the refrigeration unit and pulled out a soda, cracking it open with a single hand.

"Oh hello, Sollux." Kanaya studied his smile curiously. "I am actually almost done here…are others coming to visit?" It was the only logical reason that Sollux would need the large area, she thought.

"Well, the human health thenter may have to be summoned, and paramedicth may be thwarming the plathe, tho if that'th what you mean, then yeah." Sollux chuckled as he turned back towards the stairs he had come down from, disappearing upstairs. Feferi had ceased her humming, and she looked at Kanaya with a quizzical look on her face.

"What in the world was that about?" She wondered aloud, going back to her previous chore.

"Sollux!" Kanaya called after him, utterly confused. "What would the human health care units need to come here fo-"

As she spoke, she failed to hear the sound of feet thundering up the front walk, until the sharp sound of the door being swung open and shuddering as it rebounded off of the wall cut her off.

* * *

Karkat booked it the rest of the few blocks to Ninth street, took a left onto it, and tore down the sidewalk.

Karkat finally reached his house, 6 Ninth Street, face twisted into a scowl as he stormed up the walk and all but kicked the door in. He stood in the doorway, holding out a hand to calm the door that was still shuddering back towards him after its brief acquaintance with the wall. His eyes darted between Feferi and Kanaya, who were both looking at him like he had sprouted extra appendages. Neither of them reacted beyond this, so Karkat took the initiative.

"Where is he."

Kanaya clearly saw that whatever situation this was, it needed tact if Karkat was angry enough to drop his usual harsh manner of speaking. She stood, brushing off her skirt and giving Karkat a small, but genuine smile.

"Hello, Karkat. How was work today?" she queried.

Karkat glared daggers at her. "FUCKING PEACHY. NOW WHERE IS HE."

Well that had not worked. Not at all.

"I am sorry, Karkat, but I don't know who-"

"EGBERT. THE NOOKSNIFFING FUCKING HUMAN. WHERE IS HE"

Kanaya raised both her eyebrows at him. "I believe he is upstairs with the vaccu-"

She had barely finished her sentence before Karkat was halfway up the stairs. He took the stairs three at a time, nearly tripping over himself in the effort to move faster. He reached the second floor landing, and charged down the hallway towards his open door. He rushed in, eyes wild, staring at the human who had apparently had enough of the cleaning and was now sitting on Karkat's floor, flipping through some books and making faces at the text he was reading in them.

Karkat felt like he was going to have a stroke. He lunged forward at the boy, ripping the book out of his hands. John looked up at him, wide eyed and mouth agape.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, EGBERT? I SPECIFICALLY SAID TO STAY OUT OF MY GOGDAMNED ROOM, AND YET HERE YOUR ASS SITS."

John blinked, then grinned at him, seemingly unfazed by the angry troll hovering over him.

"Hi Karkat! Well, um. I got to cleaning and figured you wouldn't mind if I vacuumed your floor a little?" John gave a wincing smile, unsure if that was the correct answer.

It never was.

"DO NOT ENTER MY FUCKING ROOM," Karkat barked, inches from John's face, "MEANS-GET THIS, IT'S A GOGDAMNED DOOZY-STAY. OUT. OF. MY. FUCKING. ROOM."

He punctuated each word with a jab to the human's forehead with his finger. "AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY ROMANCE NOVELS."

The 18-year old human blushed visibly. "Oh…Karkat, I'm sorry but…I didn't know you liked this stuff, its kinda…its REALLY gross." He was fighting to keep the laughter inside as he looked at the confusion on Karkat's face. "Like…only girls read these things. They're really um. Graphic."

No reaction.

"It's basically porn in a book, Karkat."

Karkat glowered down at John as the boy picked up one of the books and tapped the cover, which had a painting of an obviously dominant male human-what with all those muscles-and a scantily clad human woman clutching his leg as he stared off into the distance. John was on the verge of a complete and total fit of hysterics as he watched Karkat's expressions morph around, his face laced with confusion and irritation.

"John," he said, no longer shouting but still visibly ticked off, "I don't know what the fuck 'porn' is, nor do I care to know." He snatched up the books and deposited them next to his desk.

"And for your fucking information," the troll grabbed the book John was still holding and gestured to it as if it were the Holy Grail, closing his eyes and turning his nose up in an outrageous display of seriousness, "these are wonderfully written tales of true fucking love, desperation, and drama. Females of your species must be of higher gogdamned intellect if they choose to read these fucking things as you say they do."

Karkat placed the book lovingly on his desk, then turned back to John. The boy was still sitting on his floor, but now his face was red, and a soft "fff" noise was escaping from his mouth as he tried in vain to suppress the inevitable.

Karkat narrowed his eyes at him.

"What."

And that was all it took. John was absolutely beside himself, flailing around on Karkat's floor like he was having a seizure.

"HAHAHAAAAAAA HAAAAAA, KARKAT ARE YOU SERIOUS? HEEE HEE HEEE," John clutched his sides out of pain from the force of his laughter. Karkat growled.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Egbert? And yes, I'm fucking serious, you probably don't grasp the deep conflict in these gogdamned books. I may not understand most of the more…intimate parts but the fact fucking remains that these books are highly intellectually stimulating."

John nearly gasped for air at the words 'deep conflict' being associated with the smutty novels. Not to mention the word 'stimulating'. He did his best to stand up, wheezing as he tried to compose himself, and grabbed the handle of the door as he made his way out.

"HAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAA OH GOD KARKAT YOU'RE KILLING ME."

John exited, dragging his vaccum behind him.

"I WISH I FUCKING WAS, BELIEVE ME," Karkat yelled after him, frowning as the sounds of John's hysterics faded as he made his way back downstairs.

Karkat slumped into his desk chair and rubbed his forehead with his palm, trying to fend off the headache he felt coming on. Fucking Egbert. The human got more aggravating with every passing day, it seemed. The troll sighed and looked at his wall calendar. Another gift bestowed upon him by the Lord of the Daft that had just previously left his room. He studied the little boxes until his eyes rested on the date of that particular day. Friday. Thank fuck for that. Karkat loved weekends. He could do whatever the hell he pleased. Usually this meant he would stay in, read, and just generally relax, but he found himself getting fed up with such a boring routine. Why not shake things up and get out of his house this weekend? Yeah, sounded like a fucking plan.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock by his (still open) door.

"Hey KK, Fef wanth to know what you want for breakfatht." Sollux leaned on the doorframe. "Or..dinner or whatever you want to conthider it thinth you get up tho damn early."

Karkat rubbed his eyes and slumped into his chair a bit, lolling his head to the side to look over at his friend. "Well…I don't fucking know. I wouldn't mind some of those fucking amazing egg-bread things Egbert's always shoveling down his damn protein chute."

Sollux furrowed his brow, obviously trying to locate the proper name for the food the Cancer was describing. "French toatht?"

Karkat's eyes lit up. Sollux almost expected the small troll to smile for a second, there. Almost.

"Yeah! Those things! They're fucking good, Sol."

Sollux nodded and started down the hallway to relay Karkat's order to Feferi. Karkat sighed and stretched, glad to finally be home. He set himself about changing into some more comfortable clothes and starting up his husktop, playing with a pencil absentmindedly as he waited for the system to boot up. He could smell the 'french toast' being cooked downstairs, and his stomach groaned and gurgled in response. God he was fucking starving. As he started to log into Pesterchum, he heard his cell phone go off again, this time a short chirp alerting him of a text message. He scooted his chair across the room to his jacket and pulled out the device, flipping it open and opening the message.

- hEy bEsT mOtHeRfUcKiNg fRiEnD. :o) I hOpE yOu hAvEn'T aLl uP aNd fOrgOtTeN iT's tAvBrO's mOtHeRfUcKiNg wRiGgLiNg dAy -

Karkat rolled his eyes as his thumbs flew across the miniature keyboard.

- NO, GAMZEE, I HAVEN'T FUCKING FORGOTTEN. NOT THAT YOU WOULD LET ME, YOU'VE BEEN REMINDING ME EVERY GOGDAMN DAY THIS WEEK. -

Not a few short seconds later, the phone chirped again. Karkat raised an eyebrow at the phone as he opened the next message. It never ceased to utterly astound him how Gamzee could possibly respond to anything within a time frame short of 5 minutes with his arduous and highly annoying typing quirk.

- tHaT's tHe mOtHeRfUcKiNg tRuTh, bRo. cAn'T hAvE mY bEsT fRiEnD mIsSiNg oUt oN sOmE mIrAcUlOuS fEsTiViTiEs. hOnK. -

- WAIT YOU'RE HAVING A PARTY? FOR TAVROS? YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME THAT PART OF IT, YOU DENSE FUCK. -

- aWw SoRrY kArBrO. diDn'T aLl mEaN tO uP aNd lEaVe tHe mIrAcLeS oUt oF tHe mOtHeRfUcKiNg cOnVeRsAtIoN, mAn. :o( -

- ITS FINE, ITS FINE. WHEN IS THIS THING SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN SO I CAN SUFFICIENTLY PREPARE MYSELF FOR THESE SO-CALLED MIRACLES. -

- nOw yOu'Re uP aNd tAlKiNg, bRo! pArTy sTaRtS aT 6, oUr hIvE. GOtTa wOrK, tHo. ThInK a bEsT fUcKiNg fRiEnD cOuLd aLl cOmE aNd kEeP a mOtHeRfUcKeR sOmE cOmPaNy oN tHe wAlK bAcK? I gEt oUt aT 4. -

- I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MANAGED TO KEEP THE JOB. FUCKING CONGRATULATIONS GAMZEE, YOU'RE NOT AS ROYALLY FUCKED AS I THOUGHT YOU WERE. AND YEAH, I'LL COME BY THE SHOP AROUND 4. SEE YOU THEN, ASSHOLE. DON'T PULL ANOTHER DUMBASS FUCKING STUNT LIKE LAST WEEK. -

Karkat paused after sending the message. He opened a new message, addressed it to Gamzee, and as he walked down the stairs to shouts of "KK! YOUR FOOD'TH READY ATHHOLE", he hammered out another text, pressed send, and pocketed the phone.

* * *

Eleven blocks down, a phone buzzed, and slid open.

- AND YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP CALLING ME YOUR BEST FRIEND. I KNOW I AM. WE'VE BEEN MOIRAILS FOR FUCKING SWEEPS NOW, GAMZEE. JUST GIVE IT A DAMN REST, OKAY?-

A painted smile grew slightly wider at the use of the pale quadrant symbol the sender had added to the end of the text. A common gesture among moirails, but coming from a troll as emotionally reserved as Karkat, it was something extra special.

A motherfucking miracle, if you will.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 - Eleven Blocks Down**

4 Twentieth Ave Southeast sat comfortably in a lineup of glamorous Victorian houses, within the rather prestigious Historical District. A fair 30 minute walk from the city's center, but not far enough out of the hustle and bustle of any city's comings and goings that its occupants weren't accustomed to the noise of traffic, the rumble of the subway, and the occasional shouting match on the street. To be perfectly frank, most of the aforementioned shouting matches came from within number 4.

The house itself was a triumph of Victorian-style architecture; Complete with a spacious front porch, ornate shingles and rim lacing, and a few tower-like rooms that stretched skyward. It looked almost medieval, like a miniature castle of sorts. No surprise, then, that the trolls who had decided to inhabit the place had a prince among them.

Princey-wincey McFussypants, she called him.

Terezi sat on the living room floor, papers strewn around her in a still-life cyclonic kind of way. She flicked her tongue between her sharp teeth, hammering responses to her friends on the chat client. How long had she been sitting here…? Wasn't Tavros supposed to be helping her today? The blind troll was currently enrolled in her second sweep at a University of Law, a fact she was ridiculously proud of. She managed her classes very well, although sometimes when she neglected a project or assignment, she called upon the Taurus to help her type. He was a much faster typer, after all.

She suddenly sat up straight, sniffing the air. She grinned.

"Heeeeeeey, where have you been? I've been sitting here for hours!"

Tavros, who had only just entered the spacious room, gave her a puzzled look. She couldn't see it, but she knew it was there.

"Oh, um, hi Terezi." The wheelchair-bound troll scooted himself in her direction. "Yeah…I'll help you. I promised I would!"

Tavros ran a hand through his mohawk awkwardly. "But um…you said you've been here for hours?" he smiled at the blind female troll on the floor, "heh, but its only 6 in the morning! How early did you get up!"

Terezi fell back to lean her shoulders against the giant couch behind her, cackling at Tavros. "I wanted to get an early start, Taaaaavros." She cocked her head to the side, sniffing the air again. "You just got up, didn't you. I can smell the sopor!"

Tavros blushed, a default reaction to just about anything. "Well yeah! I didn't have time to uh…visit the ablution …I mean shower?" The foreign human word still felt odd rolling off his tongue, and he scrunched up his face as he said it. "I mean I heard you knock on my door a few times, and …um. So I got up."

Terezi also scrunched up her face, her red glasses bumping her forehead as she did so. "EW ugh, you didn't get the sopor off you? No wonder I can smell it so much. Gross!"

The blind troll launched forward, hopping to a standing position and taking out her folded cane. Flicking the bundle of metal, it immediately locked into a more suitable cane-like shape, and Terezi tapped her way around the mess on the floor, heading to the kitchen. "Whatever, bull-boy, you want some of that coffee stuff before we start?"

Tavros paled at the suggestion. He knew Terezi loved the human morning drink; the Dave human had gotten her essentially hooked on the stuff, but he had never tried it… He may be a good measure more confident in the sweeps he'd grown, but he had seen the aftermath of their friend Nepeta being given coffee and…he just wasn't so sure.

"Ummmm, I think I'll just have some of my juice," Tavros muttered, turning himself towards the kitchen door. Terezi was already standing there, two steaming cups in hand.

"Aw, come on, Tavros! I already made you one!" she practically shoved the hot drink at Tavros, who caught it wide-eyed and stuttered out a thank-you as Terezi tapped around him, moving to her previous location. "You're welcome! Now come here and help me get this paper finished."

Tavros nodded and sipped the coffee, a questioning look on his face as he nearly 'bluh'd the contents back into the cup. He didn't want to waste the drink, though, and Terezi had made it just for him…. He sighed. Placing the cup between his knees (GOG THAT'S HOT), he rolled his way around the smaller couch and was immediately presented with a veritable obstacle course. Papers were everywhere, and among them were littered six beanbag chairs, effectively blocking his cumbersome four-wheeled contraption from making further progress.

Terezi sensed something amiss and asked, "You okay over there? Do I need to get Vriska to come carry you over here or what?"

Tavros winced. "N-no, that's fine I just," he paused, "the bag seats…?"

Terezi laughed and stood up again, this time without her cane, clumsily mapping out the squishy seats in question with her feet and tossing them unceremoniously over her head onto the largest couch. "Gog I don't know why we still have these things," she muttered as she tossed the last one and shuffled her way back to her husktop.

Tavros smiled as he wheeled himself over the papers to park himself next to Terezi. The bag chairs…oh gog. He remembered when his best friend had brought them home, throwing his gangly frame onto them and declaring them to be 'little squishy miracle clouds for all up and getting your sit on in'. None of the other trolls cared for them really-Vriska had tried to convince Gamzee to get rid of the stupid things, but the Capricorn heard none of it. Tavros didn't mind them, honestly. He loved sitting on them; they made great seats for video games.

Terezi snapped him out of his thoughts with a sharp jab to his thigh. "OW. Terezi, that hurt!"

Terezi grinned and flicked her tongue at him. "Well there's some good news! Looks like the physical therapy is working!" She laughed, prodding him a few more times before turning back to her husktop, preparing her documents that she needed Tavros to type for her. Tavros sighed and smiled a little, poking his own thigh, though not nearly as hard. It _was_ a good thing. He had been sure he would never walk again. Even after the game had ended and the trolls who had died were reset-reincarnated into the living again, he was slightly upset that he had found himself bound to the wheelchair once more. But a few sweeps of doctor visits and surgeries, coupled with the physical therapy, were definitely paying off. He could feel his legs at this point, but they were still lifeless. He still had no control over the muscles in his legs and it seemed the ability to walk was a long way off.

"Allright, Tavros! Here we go!" Terezi chattered at him as she dumped her husktop onto his lap, "I have notes and some other stuff, but for the most part, I'll just tell you what to type. You can pull of dictated-not-read crap, right?"

"Y-yeah." Tavros nodded, his hands shaking. Man, that coffee stuff must have had something in it. He felt like running a damn marathon regardless of his uncooperative legs. He sipped the cup again and giggled loudly at the mental image of himself flailing around on a running track like a cartwheeling hoofbeast with all its bones removed. Why was that so funny? He didn't think it was very funny. What the hell was _in _coffee anyway? Terezi raised an eyebrow at him. "What's so funny?"

Tavros giggled and snorted into the cup. "N-nothing, nothing, um. What do you want me to ty-"

_** WHUMP.**_

Both trolls turned their heads to the ceiling. Terezi flicked her tongue-almost a trademark personality quirk at this point-towards the ceiling, grinning widely.

"Sounds like our resident monster in the attic is up."

* * *

Bodies.

That's all he could see. Mangled corpses, many of them familiar faces, stared up at him with dead eyes. His own eyes darted from one to the next, trapped in walls of rainbow blood. He could still hear them; they begged him. Pleaded for him to stop. Asked why he did this to them. Their faces frozen in silent screams, but their voices ringing loudly in his ears.

He dropped to his knees, his hands clawing at his head, begging them to stop; be silent. But they only grew louder, more insistent. And then, there it was.

The shadow. Standing, towering behind him. He could feel it leaning over, whispering in his ear. Or perhaps it was the back of his mind? He didn't know. That voice always sounded the same. His own voice, yet someone-some_thing_ else entirely.

_ 'your painting is missing something'_

His eyes looked up, up again to that horrible wall of rot and blood. His painting was fine. It was in the past. This wasn't real. Everything was fine. He was fine. His friends were fine. The painting was fine.

IT WAS FUCKING FINE.

Nothing wrong with it.

IT DOESN'T NEED ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING THING.

Yes, it does.

NO, IT FUCKING DOESN'T.

'_Look_.'

Eyes rose again after being squeezed shut; the colors of the past laid out in front of him. Blue. Yellow. Lavender. Pink. Green. Indigo.

_ 'red.'_

Indigo eyes shot wide open, just before he hit the floor of his room in the attic.

_**WHUMP**_.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **

**Well I took my sweet time churning this chapter out; I was having major difficulties with it for some reason. I'll try to be more timely in the future. -falls over-**

**Also thank you all so much for the story faves, alert subscriptions, and my three lovely reviewers thus far! Keep em coming; they keep me excited about working on this! xoxo**

**Hussie owns; I am but a humble slave to the fandom.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 4 - HONK.**

From the second-floor hallway, a set of narrow stairs led to the third floor landing of number 4 Twentieth Ave. There were only two things of note on this landing. To the left, a bathroom. Dead ahead, in the center of the floor, was a carpeted wrought-iron spiral staircase. If one didn't know any better, it would look like a completely useless addition to the house, causing the eye of the beholder to question the lucidity of the architect. Upon further investigation of the vaulted ceiling above this tiny third floor landing, however, one would notice a door.

Just an ordinary, average door. On the ceiling.

We are now once again left to muse on whether the houses' architect may or may not have had some clinical shortcomings, or at the very least an avid fascination with the works of M.C. Escher.

In truth, the architect upon which we are musing was not responsible for either the door on the ceiling, or the spiral stairs. Both were set into place by a small team of trolls, at the behest of one Eridan Ampora-a resident of the house. The former sea dweller, upon learning which of the trolls he was going to be sharing his residence with-that is to say, one troll in particular-had immediately hired a crew of trolls to furnish the entire attic area above the house until it was suitable to live in. The basic attic trapdoor had been replaced with the oddly-placed hinged door, and the stairs installed to give access to the space.

If _he_ had to live there, Eridan wanted him as far away from his own quarters as possible. Living under the same roof as the descendant of the Grand Highblood; the Bard of Rage- was asking for trouble as it is.

Aforementioned Bard of the Raging variety was currently in his room, groaning into the hardwood floor. Long, gangly limbs spread flat, his face making friends with the floor after a rather unceremonious exit from his double-mattress bed. Gamzee shifted, rolling lazily to lay on his back, and stared up at his ceiling. "Mother fuck."

He brought his hand up to rub at his nose, still sore from the impact of hitting the floor. He sniffed; no damage done, from what he could tell. Motherfucking miracles. The Capricorn lolled his head to the side, indigo eyes fixed on the bed. Gamzee didn't really miss having a recuperacoon. The bed was hard to get used to, though. That had been quite the adjustment period, to say the least. The mattresses had been brought in by some of his friends-mainly his moirail. Gamzee plastered a lazy grin on his face as the thought of the smaller troll drifted over his thinkpan. Karkat Vantas; the most motherfucking bitchtits moirail a troll could all up and ask for. The Cancer was always looking out for him, bless his little blood pusher. Karkat had been the one to successfully devise a plan to keep Gamzee's rage sated and the nightmares at bay while simultaneously keeping him from taking gross advantage of the sopor slime in a standard recuperacoon, and-

Fuck.

Gamzee sat up, running a hand through the constant mess that was his hair, eyes whirling frantically around the perimeter of the bed.

He'd forgotten to take the sopor pills last night.

Gamzee threw himself onto the mattress, scrambling around, throwing back the covers, shaking the pillows, arms scraping around the entire sleeping area. No wonder he'd had the nightmares again…he was supposed to be on a strict regimen set up by Karkat and some fancy-dancy miracle doctor who had dealt with subjuggulator patients of Gamzee's caste before. Two of which apparently shared the same insane childhood habit of eating sopor as opposed to sleeping in it, ironically enough. Two pills a day; one in the morning and one at night. A third if he happened to slip into a fullblown rage. That had only happened once, though it had taken more to the effect of six pills and two solid hours of paps and shooshes to bring him back down…not to mention the extra hour and a half Karkat spent convincing the human law enforcement to let Gamzee walk away with a simple warning.

Gamzee chuckled to himself as he searched. Then finally-

"There you are, little motherfuckers!" Gamzee addressed the bottle, as he produced it from under one of the folds in the sheets. He stood on the mattress, bouncing a bit as he rattled the bottle. "You up and all ran off on a motherfucker last night."

Popping the top open, the Capricorn flipped a pill into his mouth and swallowed it. "Can't be all having you do that, Karkat will up and have a motherfucking stroke, bros." Gamzee tossed the bottle back on the bed, and launched himself off onto the floor-onto his hands-and walked in such a manner up to his door on the floor. He frowned.

"Aw, motherfucking stairs always all getting up in my way," he drawled at no one in particular. Not that there was anyone there, mind you. Sighing, he righted himself and leaned down, swinging the door up toward him and descending down his spiral stairs. Once he reached his tiny third-floor landing, he made a quick trip to his bathroom to reapply his face makeup, and continued his descent. He took the rest of the stairs two at a time down to the second floor landing, where he flipped himself around again, walking on his hands down the long hallway. He glanced to the right as he passed his Tavbro's room. The door was open, and neither the Taurus nor his four-wheeled device could be seen. Gamzee attempted a shrug, figuring that his friend was down on the main floor-but one does not easily manage a shrug when ones' shoulders are locked in a position to keep the rest of one's body in the air. The minor miscalculation sent Gamzee, honking and laughing, all the way to the end of the hallway. He barely missed the wide set of stairs, the left half of which had been leveled out into an incline-a sort of ramp-for Tavros's chair. He instead crashed loudly into a door in a wild tangle of long arms, legs, and oversized sleepwear.

"GAMZEE MAKARA."

The Highblood uncurled in a most abrupt manner as the door his legs and most of his back had been resting on gave way, and his lower half dropped like a fallen log into the bedroom. He grinned widely at the troll who was glaring down at him, lavender eyes wild with fury behind a set of thick glasses.

"G'mornin, motherfucker!," Gamzee nearly shouted up at him.

Eridan narrowed his eyes and rubbed his temples in an arduously overdramatic display to convey his grief. "Gam, w-would you please try an' be a little quieter w-when you come down the damn stairs?" The former sea dweller moved his hand to the doorknob, moving the door to bump against Gamzee's hip repeatedly, "an' for fuck's sake, get off my floor. You're a gogdamn disgrace for a highblood, you know that, don' ya?"

The Highblood that Eridan was addressing was very obviously not paying any attention whatsoever, as he was now transfixed by something at Eridan's feet, his normally lazy gaze fixed intently on the spot, eyes wide and curious. Eridan sighed loudly, dragging a hand down his face and over the (now fully adapted to land-dwelling) gills that graced his neck. He stared blankly down at the clown-faced troll in his doorway. The moron probably saw something 'miraculous' that Eridan nor any troll with their pan screwed on straight could ever see.

"You have little hopbeasts on your feet, bro."

Eridan blinked, having barely heard Gamzee's hushed whisper. "I have w-ww-what…?"

Suddenly Gamzee convulsed into a fit of maniacal laughter. He rolled sideways and picked up the hem of one of Eridan's pant legs, revealing the blue bunny slippers the human John had gotten him last year. Gamzee roared as he yanked on one of the long ears, completely beside himself.

"Eridan, my fine fishy brother! Why do you all up and have these poor lil' motherfuckers all tied to your feet?" Gamzee was giggling like a child possessed-an accurate analogy if Eridan had anything to say on the matter. He was trying to kick the bizarre troll off of him in a flurry of theatrical arm-waving and cursing when he lost his balance and crashed onto the floor on top of Gamzee, who was still cackling. The Indigo-blood had released the slipper from Eridan's foot in the fall, and was now whipping it around in circles by the ear.

"Where did you all up and get these poor things, bro?" Gamzee assaulted him with baps and flails, using the slipper as some sort of flogging device as Eridan flopped around on top of him, trying to scramble away.

"GAM-OW. GAMZEE, W-HEY. W-W-WOULD YOU _PLEASE_-JEGUS W-WHAT IS W-W-RONG W-WITH YOU, ASSHOLE."

Gamzee, once again, was deaf to Eridan's stuttered words. "Hopbeasts! Hopbeasts!" He cackled, still whipping the poor slipper against Eridan's back and thigh as the Aquarius finally flailed himself out of reach. He stood up, turning only to grab the slipper back from the lunatic on his floor and give him a solid kick in the side.

"GET _OUT_, GAMZEE." Eridan howled, returning the blows with the slipper-flog. Gamzee laughed, honking loudly every time the slipper made contact. He got up on his feet and covered his head, laughing as Eridan beat him back out into the hallway, slamming the door and locking it. Gamzee teetered on one foot, skipping out of the room and falling clumsily into the opposite wall. That motherfucker was so much fun…if only his fishy bro would lighten up a bit, Gamzee could see them kicking back some wicked brews together. Eridan wasn't all that bad, in Gamzee's mind. Most of the others found him to be overdramatic and could only handle so much of him.

Gamzee, still ever-smiling, made a soft 'hup' noise and bounced his long frame onto the brass banister that led to the main floor, riding it like a monorail via his hindquarters-long legs stretched out on either side in front of him- all the way down to the end. He dismounted, and sniffed the air. Something smelled motherfucking good. Gamzee made his way to the kitchen, sniffing the air as he went. He looked something like a curious mouse. At least, that's what Tavros thought when the Capricorn rounded the corner into the living room, eyes closed and following his nose to the source of the appetizing scent wafting from the kitchen.

"Hi, Gamzee!"

Gamzee spun around towards the source of the greeting. Tavros and Terezi both smiled in his direction. Well, his general direction, anyway; Terezi seemed to be smiling at the antique floor lamp to his right. He returned the expression-not that it ever left his face much to begin with. He launched himself over one of the smaller couches, flopping down on it with a satisfied 'unf'.

"Hey, motherfuckers! How's my bitchtits sis and bro up and doing today?" Gamzee stretched out on the couch, his legs and head barely on the seat itself. He had grown to a ridiculous height at only just under 9 sweeps (or 19 Earth years, as some of the trolls had begun to adapt to the term), standing at nearly six and a half feet from foot to head, not including the wild mess of hair that added at least an extra few inches to the towering Capricorn. Taller still, when one considered Gamzee's horns, which had also grown in length and started to take on the spiraled, slightly jagged appearance indicative of an adult troll. They had all grown, to be sure-but Gamzee was well on his way to becoming the spitting image of his ancestor. Or he would have been, if he wasn't so thin. Tavros giggled as he observed his friend splayed out on the small couch. Gamzee had this odd way about him; he could look absolutely ridiculous, but wear it in a way that suited him rather well.

"Good, uh, morning, Gamzee," Tavros choked out, still giggling. He was gripping a small mug in both hands and very nearly rubbing it on his face. Gamzee raised an eyebrow. He pointed his right foot to prod Tavros's knee.

"What the motherfuck is up with you, Tavbro? You got some serious giggle monsters goin' on today or what?" He grinned at his friend.

From her seat on the floor to Tavros's left, Terezi snorted. "Beats the hell out of me! Kid's been laughing at nothing for almost forty minutes now." The blind troll licked her black lips and continued hammering on her keyboard, attempting to finish her previous task-Tavros hadn't been much help after about twenty minutes of her dictating to him. He had started laughing, snorting, giggling, and mumbling something about cartweeling hoofbeasts. "Looks like you're a bad influence on him, Gamzee. He's taking after your insanity!"

Gamzee raised both eyebrows at this, turning his attention back to his wheelchair-bound friend. The Taurus was shaking somewhat, his cheeks flushed a light brown, staring into his cup and giggling uncontrollably. Gog only knows what was going on, here. Gamzee broke out a toothy grin. Man, his bro was motherfucking adorable.

"Tavbro, what's on your motherfucking thinkpan?" The Highblood dropped his torso to the side, hanging off the couch with his horns scraping the floor, grinning up at Tavros upside-down.

Tavros glanced up from his cup. He nearly dropped the mug; having Gamzee smile at you upside-down like that wasn't exactly endearing…it was downright unsettling. Still, Tavros giggled loudly. He set himself to wondering if Gamzee ever learned how to hang upside down entirely…from a tree branch perhaps? Like a bird or…no, birds don't hang upside dow-oh gog what about a bat? Oh jegus; now Tavros was conjuring up mental images of his clown-obsessed friend hanging by the knees from a tree limb, dressed in the costume of that Bat-human in that show John had introduced him to. Tavros effectively lost his hold on the giggles and laughed loudly, thumping the arm of his chair with one of his fists. Auburn tears were streaming out of his eyes, and he was gasping for air to try and compose himself. This was terribly, terribly embarrassing. He was never going to drink coffee again.

Noticing that Gamzee was still grinning up at him, ever patiently waiting for an answer-or, knowing Gamzee, he may have forgotten his own question by now; one could never tell-Tavros held out the mug by the handle, watching it jump around spasmodically in his shaky grasp.

"Hehe…um, I think, maybe, that I should not have had, hee heee, coffee?" He laughed outright, nearly losing the mug in the process of bringing it back towards the stability of his lap. Tavros hid his face with his other hand, trying to stifle the laughing that he wasn't all too sure about the origin of as it came out in short bursts and muffled snorts. My gog, it was embarrassing. Gamzee gave a low chuckle.

"Coffee, huh?"

"Y-yeah, um, "Tavros fought valiantly to keep the giggles at bay. "Gamzee, what um, HEE HEE oh…um. What's…in coffee…exactly?"

"I think you're up and discovering the miracles of motherfucking caffeine, Tavbro." Gamzee didn't shift from his awkward place half-off the small loveseat, but grinned wider at his friend. "Never fuckin' had it before, I take it?"

Tavros shook his head so hard he thought it might pop off. The Capricorn chuckled again, extending his foot to tap Tavros on the knee again in a rather bizarre foot-petting motion. "Just relax, my wicked brother. It ain't gonna up and fucking hurt you none."

"I don't, uh," Tavros squeaked out, "think I can, um, relax."

From beside him, Terezi laughed. "Tavros? Relax? That'd be a sight to see."

"Smell."

Both Terezi and Gamzee raised both eyebrows at the Taurus, who was entering another fit of giggles. He looked down at the blind troll next to him. "Wh-heehee, uh, what? You can't, um, you can't…" Tavros was grinning widely now, another hysterical display just barely under control.

One he promptly lost when Gamzee caught up with Tavros's thoughts, "You can't motherfucking _see_, sis."

Terezi pursed her lips. She didn't really mind the blind jokes, but it gave her an excuse to prod Tavros's leg repeatedly as he convulsed in his chair, laughing and wiping the tears off his face.

"That's it!" she exclaimed, reaching up and grabbing the coffee mug from Tavros's grasp, "You've had enough! My gog, Tavros, really? _Blind jokes_?"

Gamzee grinned at the two of them as they started slapping and poking each other. Man, his life never had a dull motherfucking moment. He was the luckiest motherfucker around to have the friends that he did.

Gamzee's smile slipped just ever so slightly as he watched Terezi and Tavros continue to trade swats and friendly insults. In truth, what he was really lucky for…was that they were all still his friends. After culling his own sisters and brothers, he hadn't necessarily expected a warm welcome when Karkat and Kanaya had discovered that all the deceased trolls had been reset into the living once they had finished the game. Not that he had gotten a warm welcome, slap-on-the-back ''good-job-motherfucker' anyway…it had taken a good solid sweep and a half for the others to even feel safe around him-and another still, before they started to fall back into the comfort of friendship. Gamzee didn't like thinking about it, but he couldn't avoid it. He was dangerous-a walking talking threat, and he knew it. The Capricorn never cared for the Hemospectrum, but the ancestral lineage that lay somewhat dormant in his veins most certainly did. That's why he was taking those miracle pills. To try and avoid his fate.

Gamzee shook his head violently, hissing through his teeth. Terezi stopped slapping Tavros in the face and turned her head quizzically in his direction.

"Gamzee, you alright over there? Do I have to come over there and slap the stupid out of you, too?" She grinned.

"Nah, sis, I'm motherfucking good," Gamzee reassured her. Plastering his trademark lazy smile back on his face, he slid off the couch and stood up, making his way back to his previous destination. He couldn't ignore that miraculous smell much longer. He slid the door to the kitchen open, practically drooling as the full force of the smells hit his senses. His eyes lazily scanned the room. There was half a pot of coffee still on the burner, some plates on the counter, a spider near the stove, a frying pan with some melted butter sizzling on it, a stack of pancakes, some knives and forks, some-

Gamzee blinked, his eyes trailing backwards as his mind went into reverse. He settled his gaze upon the little eight-legged thing slowly making its way onto the stovetop. He walked over and scooped it up.

"Little motherfucker," he addressed the arachnid in his palm with all the intonation of a parent scolding a child, "what in the world do you up and think you're fuckin' doing."

Gamzee leaned his hip against the front of the oven below the stovetop. "Spider-sis will have my motherfucking head if you all up and get your hurt on. These things are motherfucking dangerous, see?"

In the hindsight that would hit him about 3 seconds later, Gamzee would realize that putting the pads of his middle and index finger on one of the electric stove rings-while it was very obviously turned on-was not the brightest of motherfucking ideas. He howled and hissed in pain, lurching his body away from the stove and crashing onto the floor, shoving the two burned digits into his mouth and growling.

"What's going on in he-"

Vriska Serket stood in the kitchen doorway, face contorted in a snarl, regarding the Highblood through the one clear frame in her glasses. "GAMZEE."

The troll in question was snarling right back at her from his position on the floor, still sucking on his minor injury. Vriska stomped over to him, and grabbed the wrist of the hand that wasn't occupied in his mouth. She pried his fingers open to reveal the little beast he had rescued from the fate he had experienced not moments before. Taking it from Gamzee, Vriska placed it on her shoulder-next to another, much smaller spider that was already perched there and stood, glaring at him.

"Are you completely insane, you idiot?" She berated him as she moved to start the batter for more pancakes-her personal favorite morning meal. "You could have squeezed Lestat to death, asshole."

Gamzee removed the fingers from his mouth to respond, "Sorry sis, but the little motherfucker was all up and walking right onto the stove. I didn't want lil spiderbro to up and fuckin' burn himself. That wouldn't have been a miracle of any motherfucking kind."

Vriska slowed her pace on the spoon she was using to mix the pancake batter, a devious smile starting to curl its way across her face. Without turning, she addressed Gamzee in a much softer tone.

"No, it wouldn't be a miracle." She stopped mixing the batter altogether. "Gamzee," she said evenly, "Do you know what some spiders do when they burn?"

From his place on the floor, Gamzee blinked up at her back. "Don't all rightly know, sis."

She turned then, grinning down at him. She plucked the smaller of the two arachnids from her shoulder and brought it to hover over one of the angry red stove circles, Gamzee's wide eyes following every move.

"They _scream_."

Gamzee's pupils dilated noticeably at the word, a faint tint of dark, almost crimson lining coming to halo the contours of his indigo irises. He jolted suddenly, his wide eyes whipping to meet Vriska's dark expression, and then instantly back to the spider, who was now squirming due to being held over the heat. Gamzee absentmindedly flicked his tongue over one of his long fangs in hesitant anticipation. Before he could let himself fall any further into forced debate over whether he should abscond, he heard someone enter the kitchen behind him.

"Vris, leave him alone." Gamzee shot a thankful look over his shoulder as Eridan walked further into the room, now dressed and ready for the day. Eridan didn't even acknowledge him as he walked by and poured himself a drink, but continued to scold the now-pouting Scorpio who had moved the poor little spider back to her shoulder.

"Its really gettin' old. Do ya really w-want to deal w-with a bloodlust-crazed Highblood?" He paused before taking a sip of his coffee, pointedly glaring at Vriska over the rims of his thick glasses, "…again?"

Vriska snorted and turned to continue her food preparation. "I don't see what the big deal is, mister pompus-pants." Eridan tensed visibly at the insult.

"Besides," She turned her head to smirk at him, "if Gamzee does decide to cull us all into oblivion-_again_," she emphasized the word, mocking Eridan's attempt at scolding her, "we just have to call his precious little moirail to roll out the shooshpap machine."

Vriska giggled and poured some batter onto the pan. Eridan narrowed his eyes. He wasn't terribly fond of the Capricorn, but he didn't feel all too friendly-like towards the Scorpio, either. That, and he didn't feel like being sliced in half again anytime soon.

"Vris, seriously, just give it a gogdamn rest," Eridan ran a hand through his purple-streaked hair and sighed, cocking his head slightly to look down at Gamzee. "Gam, you alrigh'?"

Apart from glancing at Eridan when he had first entered the kitchen, Gamzee hadn't moved a single solitary inch since Vriska had introduced the memory of screams to his thinkpan. He was fighting to keep the memories of that miraculous sound at bay.

Miraculous? No, they weren't miraculous. Not at all.

But they were. He had heard them before. He wanted to hear it again. He _needed _to.

Motherfucking gog, no he didn't. Never again.

…Was someone talking to him?

Gamzee didn't move, but raised his eyes steadily to meet Eridan's gaze. What's that motherfucker looking so worried about?

"What's that, fishy bro? Couldn't hear you over my motherfucking think I got up and going."

"I said, are you alrigh'." Eridan warily noted the state of Gamzee's eyes. His pupils were still dilated somewhat. "Do ya need me to call Kar…?"

Gamzee relaxed and unfolded himself from his tense position, closing his eyes and letting out a wobbly laugh. "Ah, nah, bro. My bitchtits best friend is up and all working right now, I don't think he'd like it too fucking much if I all called him while he's getting his job on."

Eridan relaxed as well after hearing Gamzee spouting off his ridiculous way of speaking, leaning against the counter. "W-well good."

Eridan placed his cup down, dismissing the now sedate indigo-blood and addressing Vriska in turn. "Those fried floppy thin's done yet, or am I goin' to starve to death w-waitin' for my gogdamn breakfast, Vris."

* * *

Breakfast was bitchtits motherfucking amazing, in Gamzee's opinion. His spider-sis made a mean batch of pancakes. He was full to the hilt. He had opted to take his breakfast on the floor to make room for Tavros and his chair at the small table, and having devoured about 9 plates of the sugary food, was currently lying contentedly on his back on the kitchen floor. Terezi and Vriska had absconded; Terezi went to her class, and Vriska…well, no one really knew what she did. She had made it clear enough that she wouldn't part with that information, so nobody really gave it a second thought.

A loud burp caused Gamzee to open his eyes. "Whoaa bro, that was some wicked miracles right there!" He grinned up at Tavros, who had one hand clapped over his mouth.

"W-would it kill you to say 'excuse me' after such a disgustin' display, Tav?" Eridan griped, poking the remains of his food with a fork.

Tavros blushed. "Oh, uh, I'm sorry Eridan."

"Excuse me," he then added as an afterthought.

Eridan huffed and removed himself from the table, going to the sink to clean his dishes.

At that moment, Gamzee's cell phone went off, the vibration nearly sending him into a seizure, and he honked loudly in surprise. Tavros laughed at him, and he retaliated by poking him yet again with his foot while he slid his phone open to reveal the calendar app. Gamzee's eyes widened and he grinned up at Tavros. "My motherfucking Tavbro! Happy fucking wriggling day!"

Tavros blushed furiously. "Oh…um right. I forgot about that…" he mumbled.

"I motherfucking didn't!" Gamzee waved the phone to emphasize the point. "You all up and motherfucking ready for your present? I got it all set up!"

Tavros's blush was immediately drained from his face as he paled. "Oh…oh.." Tavros reached up and covered his nose with both hands. Gamzee just kept grinning at him, obviously ten times more excited about the situation than the troll in front of him.

"Won't it, um…" Tavros squeaked behind his hands, "you know…hurt?"

Gamzee chuckled and stood up.

"Abso-fucking-lutely not, my brother. I work with the finest motherfuckers in the business. I'll take good motherfucking care of you, Tavbro." He winked at the Taurus.

Tavros visibly blushed a bit at the gesture. "But, um. I mean not that, uh, I don't trust you? But…what about, um, the incident, you know…last wee-"

Gamzee cut him off, theatrically wiggling his arms at Tavros. "SHH no, nope, I ain't gonna all up and hear another motherfucking word. Get your fourwheeled self all upstairs and get your dress-up on, and we'll hit the motherfucking pavement, bro!"

Gamzee left a squeaking, stuttering Tavros in the kitchen as he bounded up the three flights to his spiral stairs. He ascended quickly, not bothering to close his floor-door behind him as he whipped off his sleepwear. Now wearing nothing but his polka-dotted boxer shorts, he set about scouring his messy floor for something clean to wear. After a few minutes of searching, he finally emerged from the carpet of clothing with a pair of grungy, stitched up black and whiteworn jeans with oversized leather buckles on the pockets, and a simple black tank top. After donning the garments, he decided safe was better than sorry, and threw on his favorite sweater as well. It was black wool; far too long and wide for Gamzee-which was saying something of the six-foot-something skyscraper of a troll. One shoulder of the sweater always sagged and dropped down his upper arm, exposing his slightly-toned biceps and collarbone, and the shoulder strap of the 'beater' underneath. Gamzee never got around to finding out why humans called tank tops 'beaters'…or what the motherfuck a tank would do with a top of any kind.

He lilted over to his open door, swinging himself into it so he was hanging upside-down by the frame, his long horns pointing straight to the third floor. Lucky he hadn't had an impromptu visitor; that would have been the exact opposite of a fucking miracle.

"TAVBRO, YOU ALL UP AND READY YET?" He yelled, earning him a few shouts from Vriska and a loud 'shut your gogdamn speech trap' from Eridan. He only barely caught the small shout from downstairs.

"Yes! Just let me, uh, get my jacket!"

Gamzee grinned and flipped himself upright. He wobbled on his feet for a moment, the blood rushing back from his head. He grabbed his messenger bag, stuffed his pills inside, and descended the stairs. He pulled out his phone and shot a text to his best friend.

- hEy bEsT mOtHeRfUcKiNg fRiEnD. :o) I hOpE yOu hAvEn'T aLl uP aNd fOrgOtTeN iT's tAvBrO's mOtHeRfUcKiNg wRiGgLiNg dAy -

Gamzee barely had time to put the phone back when it vibrated.

- NO, GAMZEE, I HAVEN'T FUCKING FORGOTTEN. NOT THAT YOU WOULD LET ME, YOU'VE BEEN REMINDING ME EVERY GOGDAMN DAY THIS WEEK. -

The Capricorn grinned. His best fucking bro was a riot, what with all his grumpiness. His little 'raincloud bro', he called him. Not to Karkat's face, of course.

- tHaT's tHe mOtHeRfUcKiNg tRuTh, bRo. cAn'T hAvE mY bEsT fRiEnD mIsSiNg oUt oN sOmE mIrAcUlOuS fEsTiViTiEs. hOnK. -

- WAIT YOU'RE HAVING A PARTY? FOR TAVROS? YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME THAT PART OF IT, YOU DENSE FUCK. -

- aWw SoRrY kArBrO. diDn'T aLl mEaN tO uP aNd lEaVe tHe mIrAcLeS oUt oF tHe mOtHeRfUcKiNg cOnVeRsAtIoN, mAn. :o( -

- ITS FINE, ITS FINE. WHEN IS THIS THING SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN SO I CAN SUFFICIENTLY PREPARE MYSELF FOR THESE SO-CALLED MIRACLES. -

Gamzee honked quietly with glee at Karkat's agreeing to join in the evening's festivities. His best friend didn't get out much, it would definitely do him some good.

- nOw yOu'Re uP aNd tAlKiNg, bRo! pArTy sTaRtS aT 6, oUr hIvE. GOtTa wOrK, tHo. ThInK a bEsT fUcKiNg fRiEnD mOtHeRfUcKeR cOuLd aLl cOmE aNd kEeP a mOtHeRfUcKeR sOmE cOmPaNy oN tHe wAlK bAcK? I gEt oUt aT 4. -

- I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MANAGED TO KEEP THE JOB. FUCKING CONGRATULATIONS GAMZEE, YOU'RE NOT AS ROYALLY FUCKED AS I THOUGHT YOU WERE. AND YEAH, I'LL COME BY THE SHOP AROUND 4. SEE YOU THEN, ASSHOLE. DON'T PULL ANOTHER DUMBASS FUCKING STUNT LIKE LAST WEEK. -

Gamzee chuckled. Last week…had been bad. He'd almost gotten fired, actually, but Karkat's quick thinking landed him with job intact, albeit he had less exciting duties now. Karkat kept telling him it was a stupid idea to work in such a venue, considering his mental history.

Humans don't take it well when the sight of their blood sends their body piercer into a homicidal rage.

Gamzee was almost to Tavros's door when his phone buzzed again.

- AND YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP CALLING ME YOUR BEST FRIEND. I KNOW I AM. WE'VE BEEN MOIRAILS FOR FUCKING SWEEPS NOW, GAMZEE. JUST GIVE IT A DAMN REST, OKAY? -

The Capricorn grinned widely, tapping the screen with a sharp claw affectionately where Karkat had added the 'less than, greater than' symbols to form a sideways diamond. Man, he was so pale for the little fireball Cancer it was borderline absurdity. And it was mutual, even if Karkat rarely voiced it. But over the sweeps since the game had ended, the two were fully settled into their moiraillegance. Gamzee wouldn't give that up for anything in the motherfucking universe.

Gamzee poked his head into Tavros's room. He found the Taurus already rolling himself towards the door, looking up at Gamzee with an apprehensive smile on his face.

"I guess I'm, um, ready. As I…will ever be, I mean."

"Bitchtits."


End file.
